Hey friends!
Han posted her testimony last week, so I figured that I would post part of mine now. There are some ugly parts but there are also parts of great redemption. I have come a long way, but I’m nowhere near perfect and I have a long way to go until I am even close. I am by no means a writer so my posts will be messy and have lots of mistakes, but that’s apart of the journey. So here goes nothing…
I have always been raised in a Christian home. I have been in church almost every Sunday since I was born. If we didn’t go to church we would have service in our home. If there is an event going on at church we were there. I was first to arrive and last to leave. I have always been taught the truth and the beauty of the gospel. I have never, not been surrounded by people who love Jesus. But as any story goes, their salvation isn’t mine and I had to figure that out for myself.
I prayed a prayer and was baptized at 6 years old but didn’t truly understand what I was doing. Nothing in my life really changed and I continued living how I wanted and only spending time with God occasionally. I didn’t see my sin as much of a problem because I always thought well I’ll just pray about it and God will forgive me. Without security in Christ, it made me very insecure.
For years I struggled with who I was. What was my purpose, what made me any different from anyone else, what made me enough? These are questions that I struggled with for what seems like forever. I remember crying because I was just so defeated. As I got older, I put my identity into literally ANYTHING but God; Boys, popularity (I never did become ‘popular’), body image, friends, etc. I put so much into trying to be perfect that my greatest downfalls attacked me then.
At 14 years old, I was at a church camp saying the prayer of salvation with a girl when I realized that I was saying it for me. Things started to change and I began to have a quiet time on a regular basis and began to see changes but I was still very immature in my faith. I still was living in sin and was making choices that I’ll live with for the rest of my life. It wasn’t until this past December (2017) that things started changing.
After an emotional semester in school, failing (technically I dropped before failing), being single, and feeling alone, I turned to the one thing that I knew was always there. Jesus. Since then I have grown in my walk so much, I have become more confident in who I am, I have let go of a lot of my fears, and I have found a peace that I never knew possible. I haven’t done it perfectly, honestly, I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded but Christ is sanctifying me piece by piece.
While this isn’t my entire story, this is the overall idea of it. As time goes one I’ll begin to post parts in more detail but I wanted you to be able to get to know me as a whole.
XO, Em
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