So when I was in high school I loved guys, and well quite honestly I still do, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to put guidelines around my guy obsession. I have come up with the 9 most common questions I ask myself before I start talking/liking/pursuing a guy. This has yet to fail me and it has saved me from sooo many mistakes. These are hard questions and they will cancel a lot of guys off of the list, but not all of them. It just might cause you to have to wait a little longer to find one. Here they are:
1. Is he a Christian?
GOING DEEPER: Not just does he go to church. Does he have a real relationship with Christ? Is he actively pursuing God? It will be obvious if he is.
2. Am I doing this simply to make myself look cool?
GOING DEEPER: Am I dating him simply to have social media posts about how much I like him and how sweet he is. Is it just for popularity?
3. Am I in it for the physical aspects?
GOING DEEPER: Do I want someone to snuggle with? Is it just so I can feel loved/wanted in a physical way? While this is healthy in a relationship, it shouldn’t be the driving force.
4. Am I just lonely?
GOING DEEPER: Do I just want another friend? Is it just someone to keep me company when no one else can hang out? Am I in between friends so he is a backup?
5. Will us being together honor Christ?
GOING DEEPER: Will he push me towards Christ or away? Will he be an encouragement or a discouraging? Is he going to put Jesus first? Will people see Him in our relationship?
6. Could I marry him?
GOING DEEPER: While this is not tying you down to marry him if you really can’t see a future with him, then what’s the point? You’re literally dating him so you can break up.
7. Would he be a good dad?
GOING DEEPER: While this is probably a long way off, see how he interacts with kids around him. Is he calm and gentle? Do kids enjoy him? Does he know when to draw the line? Is he brave enough to even interact? Does he have patience? All of these can be clues to how he will treat you and your kids.
8. How does he treat his mom?
GOING DEEPER: Okay so this one is as old as the book BUT very valid. Does He respect his mom? If not, ditch him. Not worth it.
9. What do Godly peers say/think about him?
GOING DEEPER: Lastly, what are your godly peers saying? For me, that is my mom, best friend, brother, and youth pastor’s wife. They all know me and know (even if they don’t know the guy) if he is a bad idea or not. So I strongly encourage you to find someone who you trust to give you advice on guys even when you don’t want to hear it.
A lot of these questions were no-brainers, but I hope they helped you think about what it means to be in a serious relationship and realize that there are some guidelines you can look at BEFORE going into the relationship. Chances are, you will still end up with a sucky guy or two and you will probably end up with some great guys who just aren’t for you. THAT IS OKAY! Just remember that having a boyfriend is not the most important thing in the world. Trust me, I’m preaching to the choir so I know exactly how hard it is!
xoxo, em
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