If you scroll through my instagram feed you won’t find many, if any, selfies. You also won’t find many pictures of just me, but there are a handful of those. I have a reason for this though, I realized that when I was posting something of just me I was doing it for 1 of 3 reasons, for the praise of man, for a guy to see it, or because I was trying to make someone mad. While people telling you that you’re pretty or a guy noticing you isn’t necessarily bad, they aren’t reasons you should post something. Before I continue in this post let me say that I have plenty of friends who post selfies and pictures of themselves and I DO NOT have any problem with that but for ME it was turning into sin.
First: I was looking for someone to say “So pretty” or “beautiful” or you know one of those typical one liners that girls say to each other. Honestly, I think we should 100% encourage our friends by telling them that they are beautiful but for me it was affecting my self esteem if enough people or the “right” people didn’t comment on it I felt like a failure and it crushed my self-esteem. I started putting my worth in it. When people told me how “pretty” I looked or when it got lots of likes I became very prideful and judgemental towards others who posted.
Second: I was posting it so either a guy would notice me or for a guy to realize what he was missing. This was consuming my thoughts and I kept checking to see if he had seen it. There isn’t a lot of detail to this one it's pretty self explanatory.
Third: I would post something that I thought I looked good in so that I would pop up in someone’s feed and they would be jealous of me or realize that I was “better” than them. Honestly, that is petty of me and shows how immature and pathetic I can be.
While this wasn’t a long post and it doesn’t apply to everyone, it is something to think about because if your motive isn’t pure in posting then DON’T POST! If you’re just feeling good about yourself and wanna share that with the world, I say go for it! I’m not saying to boycott selfies because well that is kinda what social media was made for, just make sure your reasons are pure.
xo, em
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